Sunday, 7 October 2012

of love.

dearest a and i have been neglecting you, blog.
but we have been doing other things...

like our Sunday morning Skype dates. keeps us up to date and also get to see a's beautiful smiling face :)

i've also just been through one of my biggest relationship challenges.
c and i are reaching our 18 month anniversary next week.
he also has just confirmed that he'll be going overseas for 9 months next year.
since we started dating, i knew c's plan was eventually to go overseas. but at 18 months- when we are stable enough to be 'a serious relationship' yet just past that 'honeymoon- everything is just so warm and fuzzy' phase, this news was devastating to me.
i started to doubt everything i thought about the one person i'd thought i may one day end up with.
i began to think we wanted different things and that he'd changed...
the good thing about us, c and i talk about everything.
so when i decided to voice that i didn't know if i could handle the separation, a bit of a break was decided.
being logical and usually quite emotionally-held-back me, the last thing i expected was that i'd break down and absolutely have a possibly the most painful 3 days of my life.
i cried.
everything that i'd stopped appreciating about our relationship came flooding back to me.
how he taught me how to drive. how he sent me flowers at work on my birthday. how he accepted me, just as i was. and realised just how much he meant to me.

i was lucky, a good talk and a half later, we are still together.
and it's almost the 18 month wake-up call that i needed.

someone said to me, 'you've both gotta try for it to work. if one person stops trying, it's over.'
i'd stopped trying. we'd idled. and that was the real problem.
we cant predict what will happen when he's away, but at least for now, we have to try.

have to thank a, for being so amazingly supportive through this whole week.

that's my huge revelation of love.

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